I Really Did Fall For You
by Arctic Kitsu
Summary: Moments after Seishiro's death, Subaru cannot let go of his dead, ex lover's hand. And especially not when old memories began to haunt him. Added song : Lie by David Cook


Title: I Really Did Fall For You

Author: Arctic Kitsu

Fandom: Tokyo Babylon (Some from X/1999)

Pairing: Subaru x Seishiro

Rating: R for sexual memories and death scenes.

Dsclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon. It all belongs to CLAMP I guess. Lol.

Summary: ((I have never ever finished reading Tokyo Babylon nor X/1999 but a friend told me all about the sad ending that takes place in X/1999 also I wanted to make this fanfic for her! Memories are set based on book 4 for Tokyo Babylon.)) Moments after Seishiro's death, Subaru cannot let go of his dead, ex lover's hand. And especially not when old memories began to haunt him. Added song : Lie by David Cook

Subaru gripped onto Seishiro's dead hand so tightly, afraid of letting out. He closed his eyes so tightly, hoping that this was all a dream. Hoping that this whole fight between him and Seishiro was all a lie. He wanted to believe that he was asleep in his bed and everything was okay. Everything was just fine. Hokuto was still alive, Seishiro was lying here dead on his lap. Everything was just fine. Nothing was wrong. No one was dead. But Subaru couldn't stop the tears from falling. He knew if he opened his eyes, he would see his love dead. He would see the truth.

He suddenly began to hear voice of a distance memory in his head. A memory that no one but Seishiro and him knew about. Subaru smiled bitterly at this. Was he now driving himself insane with such memories? Memories of his beloved Seishiro. Subaru's hand tightened on the limp, cold hand he held. The memory becoming more vivid.

_-Memory Flashback-_

"_I love you, Subaru…"_

_Subaru closed his eyes tightly at those words. He didn't want to believe them. He was afraid. Afraid of what truths he would find in Seishiro's eyes. "Please don't…" he said in a quiet voice. After what he did… Subaru could not believe in such tenderness. That someone would love a liar like him. He wanted to get up and leave. Leave because he couldn't handle what he had done. "I'm such a liar, Seishiro… Nothing I have done is worth loving…" Subaru began to get up, wanting to get away._

_Seishiro frowned and pulled Subaru back down on the bed with him._

_**You whispered that you were getting tired**_

_**Got a look in your eyes**_

_**Looks a lot like goodbye**_

_**Hold onto your secrets tonight**_

_**Don't want to know, I'm okay with this silence**_

_**It's the truth that I don't want to hear**_

"_What you did was the best thing you could've done for that woman. Though her child's spirit was tainted with fear and revenge… That child was beyond saving. But the mother could've been saved. And you saved her. Saved her before she too could be consumed by such darkness and thirst for revenge. It's okay, Subaru. You did the right thing. Just rest… I love you," Seishiro said with a soft smile as he wrapped a blanket around the smaller, slender male._

_Subaru still could not stop the tears. "But…"_

_Seishiro smiled and placed a gentle kiss on Subaru's forehead. "You should forgive yourself…" he murmured as he placed another, smaller kiss on the boy's lips._

_Subaru couldn't help but blush brightly. His head spinning with overflowing emotions. "Stop joking, Seishiro…"_

"_I'm not," whispered Seishiro against his lips, a little smile gracing his lips._

_**You're hiding regret in your smile**_

_**There's a storm in your eyes that's been passing for awhile**_

_**Hold on to the pass tense tonight**_

_**Don't say a word**_

_**I'm okay with the quiet**_

_**The truth is gonna change everything**_

_Subaru couldn't help but close his eyes, trying to clear his head. He trembled as he felt light kisses going from his chin to his neck. "Seishiro… Stop…" he mumbled half heartedly. His blush going brighter as his mind began to swim in his confusion and emotions._

_Seishiro smiled against the skin of Subaru's neck. His large hands holding the smaller male close to him. "Shhh…Let me help you…" he whispered, then went back to gently nibbling and sucking gently on a particular spot on Subaru's neck._

_Subaru shivered involuntarily and made a small mewling noise. "Seishiro…" His gloved hands clenching onto the white, button up shirt that that Seishiro was wearing. His hands shaking with nerves and uncertainty._

"_It'll be alright…"_

_**So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright**_

_**So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night**_

_**I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart**_

_**Look me in the eye**_

_**Lie, lie, lie**_

_Subaru's trembling became worse as he felt Seishiro kiss lower down his throat. Feeling those large hands move to unbutton his shirt. He had half a mind to stop him. To tell him the joke was over. But Subaru couldn't he wanted this. He wanted Seishiro to help him. And before he knew it, his shirt was unbutton and was being slid off his shoulders. "Seishiro… Wait…" He tried to kiss Seishiro but ended up gasping loudly when Seishiro continued to kiss down to Subaru's chest, taking a small pinkish nipple into his mouth._

_Seishiro couldn't help himself. He wanted to hear more of Subaru. Hear him say his name in that voice that was filled with confused pleasure. He switched from one nipple to the other, while he himself began to undo his own shirt. He wanted Subaru so badly. Wanted to just make the boy cry out his name instead of guilty thoughts._

_Subaru had released Seishiro's shirt as he felt it being removed. He was still panting and gasping but he decided to open his eyes. He wanted to see Seishiro._

_**Lie, lie, lie**_

_**I know that there's no turning back**_

_**If we put too much light on this, we'll see through all the cracks**_

_**Let's stay in the dark one more night**_

_**I don't want to know, I'm okay with the silence**_

_**It's the truth I don't want to hear**_

_Subaru was memorized by the older man's skin. He couldn't help but touch it. Touch the skin spread across the man's body. Subaru's trembling, gloved hands reach up to touch the other man's chest. Letting his hands run down from Seishiro's chest to his stomach then back up to his shoulders._

_Seishiro suppressed the shivered that wanted to rack through his body. He let Subaru continue his curious exploration, while he looked into Subaru's eyes and slowly began to slip the younger man's pants off. Slowly he dragged the clothing down his hips and legs then tossing them away. He loved the trembled that Subaru could not suppress. He smiled lovingly and kissed Subaru, his tongue begging for entrance. Entrance that Subaru was not giving him. Seishiro lightly growled as he ground his hips against Subaru's. Making him feel the hardness that the boy always seemed to create without trying._

_Subaru gasped at the feeling of Seishiro's hardness pressing against him. The moment his mouth opened for that gasp, Seishiro's tongue slipped into his mouth. Subaru didn't know what to make of this tongue that had invaded his mouth. He whimpered in confusion until he felt Seishiro's tongue exploring his mouth, causing Subaru to instinctively copy the other and kiss back. His arms wrapping securely around Seishiro's neck._

_**So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright**_

_**So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night**_

_**I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart**_

_**Look me in the eye**_

_**Lie, lie, lie**_

_Seishiro continued to kiss Subaru, keeping him distracted as he slowly removed the other's boxers, leaving the boy naked on the bed before him. He smiled as Subaru whimpered and clung to him. But Seishiro broke the kiss and pulled himself away completely._

"_Seishiro…?" Subaru looked up at Seishiro confusedly with his large, almond shaped eyes. His face red and heated from blushing. His body still trembling with nerves and tiny pleasures._

_Seishiro couldn't help but stare at the smaller male. He had always thought Subaru was cute as he was. But… looking like this… he looked absolutely stunning._

"_What is it…?" Subaru asked, shyly licking his lips and slightly sitting up. He didn't know it, but he was subconsciously covering himself with his arms and legs._

_Seishiro smiled as he discarded his own pants and boxers. "You have no idea how you look right now, do you?" he asked_

_Subaru wasn't listening to the question. He was looking at Seishiro's body. His face going redder than before. He felt anxious and even more nervous._

_Seishiro chuckled and crawled back on top of Subaru, forcing the other to lay back down. "You look so delicious…" Seishiro murmured as he kissed Subaru's lips again. His own legs forcing themselves in between of Subaru's._

_**Don't want to believe in this ending**_

_**Let the cameras roll on**_

_**Keep pretending**_

_**Tomorrow's all wrong if you walk away**_

_**Just stay**_

_Subaru whined as his legs were forced open. His eyes closing as Seishiro stopped kissing his lips to kiss his shoulder and neck. "Seishiro…"_

_Seishiro presented Subaru with three fingers. "Suck. I have to prepare you," he whispered in between kisses and nibbles._

_Subaru didn't even bother to ask why. He was too lost in the feeling of Seishiro kissing him. He had forgotten about his sadness. His misery. He just wanted Seishiro to keep kissing him. Keep touching his skin. He took the fingers into his mouth and began to gently suck on them, feeling Seishiro's nibbles becoming a bit harsher as he did so._

_Seishiro was trying very hard to control himself and before too long he removed his fingers from Subaru's mouth. He smiled softly. "I need to know if you're going to be okay… If you'll be able to handle what I'm about to do?" Seishiro asked._

_Subaru didn't know if he could handle it. But right now… all he wanted was Seishiro. "I will… please, Seishiro…" he begged._

_Seishiro nodded and kissed his new found lover deeply as he trailed his fingers down to Subaru's entrance. He paused as he heard Subaru whimper in both embarrassment and confusion. Seishiro just kissed him deeper as he let one of his fingers enter the smaller boy, shallowly thrusting it in and out of him._

_Subaru didn't very much make a noise. But his breathing became quick and shallow. His body trembling even more than it already was. He kissed Seishiro with the same passion in an attempt to ignore the weird feeling in him and distract himself. That proved to be even tougher as he felt another finger wriggle his way into him, stinging slightly. He whimpered and squirmed around uncomfortably._

_Seishiro nibbled on Subaru's both lip, demanding the smaller male's attention to be on the kiss and not the fingers inside of him. After a while of shallowly thrusting his fingers into Subaru and kissing him, Seishiro knew that Subaru had gotten used to the invading finger. He broke away from the kiss and held his breath as he pushed the third finger into his lover._

_Subaru cried out in pain, his eyes squeezing shut as his hands lightly clawed at Seishiro's back. "Seishiro… Hurts…"_

"_Sh… I know… It'll be over soon but you must relax," Seishiro assured the other as he slowly moved his fingers inside of him, searching._

_Subaru shook his head. "I can't… It hurts…"_

"_Shh… It'll be okay…"_

_**So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night**_

_**I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart**_

_**Look me in the eye**_

_**Lie, lie, lie**_

_Before long, Subaru was pushing back very slightly against Seishiro's fingers. The pain was now dull and tolerable. His black hair stuck slightly to his forehead from the light layer of sweat. His breath coming in pants._

_Seishiro slowly removed his fingers and positioned Subaru's legs on his shoulders as he fisted himself, attempting to use his own precum as lubrication. He laid a gently kiss on Subaru's lips. "You'll need to relax…It will hurt less if you do…Take a deep breath…" he instructed as he positioned the tip of his hardness outside of Subaru's entrance._

_Subaru held his breath and tried desperately to relax. But the moment Seishiro began to push into him, he began to scream in pain. "Seishiro!"_

"_I know… It'll pass soon. Relax…" Seishiro, himself, was trembling as the intense tightness held his erection captive on all sides. His breathing becoming labored already. He was in bliss. His didn't stop his pushing movements until he was nestled deep inside of Subaru._

_Subaru was crying and whimpered by the time Seishiro had stopped. It had hurt so badly. And while the pain was already dulling, Subaru feared that if he moved the sharp pain would make itself known again._

_Seishiro could see this fear in Subaru's face but he was determined to make love to Subaru. To make him feel loved and be pleasured. He slowly began to slide out._

"_N-no! Don't move-Ah!" Subaru cried out as Seishiro slid back into him, hitting that secret spot inside of him that made Subaru tense up in pure pleasure. His gloved fingers digging into Seishiro's back. "Oh kami… Seishiro…!"_

_Seishiro smiled as he continued to thrust in and out of his new found lover. He couldn't help but think that he was tainting the purest creature he had ever known. But he wanted to keep hearing Subaru's moans and hear him call out his name._

_Subaru felt like his body was being lit up. Everytime that hardness entered him and press firmly against the spot that made him see stars, he felt like his was belonging more and more to Seishiro. "Seishiro… I love you…!" he managed to gasp out. His face flushed with pleasure. His breathing hard and unsteady. His voice becoming hoarse as he continued to scream Seishiro's name. His body trembling as Seishiro hardness pleasure his body with each thrust inside of him._

_Seishiro felt close to coming. He refused to come before Subaru. He quickly and grabbed a hold of Subaru's hardness and began to stroke him in time with his thrust. "Come for me, Subaru…"_

_Subaru didn't hear these words as his body tensed and arched back as he came onto his own stomach. His mouth open in a silent scream of Seishiro's name. His inner muscles constricting on Seishiro's hardness._

_Seishiro shut his eyes and groaned Subaru's name as he thrusted into Subaru roughly and deeply, coming deep within him. His hand forcibly keeping Subaru's hips smashed against his own until he had finished spilling inside of the boy._

_Subaru shivered at the sensation of being filled with Seishiro's warm cum. He now laid limply back as he held Seishiro's equally limp body to him. They were both gasping for their breath. Both trembling from their activities._

_After a while, Seishiro slowly lifted himself up and slid himself out of Subaru. He gently laid next to him and pulled his lover close to him, kissing his lips. "I love you, Subaru…"_

_**So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night**_

_**I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart**_

_**Look me in the eye**_

_**Lie, lie, lie**_

_Subaru couldn't help but cuddle close to his love. His eyes closing in exhaustion. "I love you too, Seishiro…"_

_-Memory Ended-_

Subaru opened his eyes to look up. "It's going to be okay, Seishiro… I love you…" He held his beloved hand still as he finally looked at him. His dead pale face. The tears hadn't stopped. The nightmare was all a reality. The older male had in fact given up his life for Subaru. Seishiro had loved him, yet both he and Subaru had refused to see that there was in fact no reason to fight. The love they had shared… It was real. "Seishiro… I would've been willing to live in our lie… In our fake happiness… But I know… I know, Seishiro… That you did fall in love with me… And I really did fall for you…"

The End


End file.
